December 13, 2007

Yoga Imbecile Drowns in Hot Tub

This is the headline that you could have been reading this morning. I was out doing my normal exercise routine in the hot tub. I start with 1,223 laps with flip turns. The laps are short, about 1.5 yards each, so I think that most of the aerobic content is in the turns.

Then I moved on to some vigorous yoga postures. I begin with Mountain Pose, or as it is known in Sanskrit, "someone's sticky." This is a real thrill for my neighbors. Cobra is good if I can keep my head above water. If not, it is bad.

My downfall today was the Headstand. It started out so well.

But in the bat of a closed wet eyelid it came undone. I was tumbling backward and diving down to the deep of the hot tub. I cracked my head on the sharp ledge. Was this it? Was this how it all would end?

I cried for help in an underwater way:

Fortunately my photographer, who is always standing by, came to my rescue.

I did one final yoga pose. In english it is called Embarassed.


a potted friend said...

Jim; What jubilation the photos of you in your hot tub brought me. I thought when you said that you were doing laps, you were actually gulping down the hot water as a kind of medicinal for the wild and juicy life that you are living with your partner in Ipswich. Its a Merry time down there in Ips. and you need all the laps you can get to keep that beautiful body of yours functioning at capacity. Its also the first time that I've seen you in a knit hot tub cap. You've been holding out on me.

Jim Hession said...

my potted friend - did you stumble upon my blog looking for Zigzag rolling papers?

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for the informative instruction. I always thought I would have to earn my hot tub time by doing yoga - it never occurred to me that I could combine those activities. Not to mention aerobics...

Rhea said...

I never heard of someone so ambitious, to actually perform exercises in the confines of a hot tub. My bathing cap is off to you.