October 22, 1997

Part Menopause

It must be the change thing. You know what I mean, the change of life. We get it now. Only women used to pass through it, but now men do too. It says so in a new book titled “Male Menopause.” I have not read the book because the title is enough for me. I can guess what it says inside.

I am sure that there is a chapter on hair. And it will deal with more than the male problem of lack thereof. There are other bigger problems. I know. I suffer from one of the big symptoms.

Yesterday, the part in my hair moved. No, not part of my hair moved! THE part in my hair moved, and it moved all by itself - about four inches. It used to be on the left side of my head and now it is on the right. And it is still there today! This is some kind of a filamental shift, a new follicle paradigm.

I stopped trying to tame my hair many years ago. I comb it straight back when it is wet and I let the part fall where it may. And it always falls in the same place - until yesterday that is. About a week ago I got a haircut, a bad haircut, a VERY bad haircut. But this forehead perambulation did not follow for a week. I do not think that it is connected.

No, it is a sure sign of male menopause. It is just another item on the long list of the debilitations of aging which we men suffer. Oh sure, I can hear you women saying , “Men - Oh - Please” instead of menopause, but you are wrong. I know that your symptoms might seem bigger to you, but it is sort of like the story of the tortoise and the hair...

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