Cherry Bombs

I am a fan of country music, especially when I am driving down the highway. There is nothing that makes the miles go faster than a good song about how a man or woman has been wronged by her man or woman, and only if he/she had known how he/she had been hurt by his/her treacherous behavior, he/she would have changed. You now know the secret formula for a country hit.

Country music provides all of my expertise on relationship building. A couple of cd’s is much cheaper than an hour of couples therapy. And they are usually so much more to the point. As a result, I have not done my wife wrong in a long time. I keep waiting to hear those magic words, “Baby, you’ve done me wrong,” in a low southern drawl, but I haven’t heard them yet. So I guess that I have been perfect in the relationship department.

Sometimes you can really learn something valuable from a country song. After hearing Kenny Chesney sing, “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy,” I went right out and bought a John Deere. I didn’t know you actually had to ride it and do work on it. I was excited about the song “Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off.” That was the one song that I have found to be scientifically inaccurate.

Yesterday I heard a song by the Cherry Bombs that I cannot test out: “It’s Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night That Chew Your Ass Off All Day Long.” Although I have no experience with such events, somehow I know the lyric to be true.

Sometimes country music is pure genius. Who needs Dr. Phil when you have the Cherry Bombs? And a tractor.